The Humboldt Experience

Relocation Reality Show Part 5

Today we wake up thrilled to be breathing California air! We spent the night at the Crescent City Quality Inn, $152 a night (including breakfast). Lucky for us, our eyes pop open early, we fill up on coffee and breakfasty foods, and are on the road by 9:30 am.

We head out on the Redwood Highway driving through the redwoods, so very majestic… and some so dangerously close to the road! We make our first stop at Trees Of Mystery. Ooooo!

Paul Bunyan and Babe at “Trees of Mystery!”

Andy recalls visiting here as a child, but my family didn’t travel much when I was a kid, so this is my first time. Shocking I know. But you can’t really go your whole life with out seeing Paul Bunyan and Babe the Big Blue Ox! Trees of Mystery does have a lot of cool activities, but now our feet are feeling home state soil. So we’re checking this box and turning the page.

Our next stop is the beautiful little town of Trinidad, California. The scene is serene, overlooking a peaceful bay with a lovely little lighthouse (yes, another lighthouse), California Poppies blowing in the light breeze. I’m almost giddy and feeling the California vibes!

We wander around the Farmer’s Market and craft booths. Andy buys me a necklace, and the lady running the booth gives me a Moonstone. There is a nearby beach where beachcombers can find Moonstones.

Darcy Makes Good Choices

Our next stop is Holly Yashi in Arcata. Andy wants me pick out some jewelry from this famous Northern California jewelry artist.

The Holly Yashi Design Studio in Arcata.

I select a bracelet and earrings, but then a really cool chandelier catches my eye. Apparently there are also other works of art here too! Wouldn’t it be great to buy a gift for our new house on our trip?

Booty for my body!

So we are now heading out with a light fixture in a box about one-foot square. Our issue? The car is packed like Tetris.

The mission: bring THIS from the northernmost point of California to San Diego in a tightly-packed car!
SPOILER: we made it!

Remember that ice chest buried in the back seat, filled with questionable food? Yeah, well… neither did we, apparently. The stink is starting to leak, making our car smell putrid! And oh, what is that brown liquid? This “ice” chest (hey, ice might have helped somewhere along the way!) has gotta go, or I am riding the rest of the way with a box full of lamp on my lap. Bye bye funky ice chest!

Darcy Makes Bad Choices

We face a dilemma: should we eat lunch in Arcata? Should we stay on the Redwood Highway? Looks like there is nothing but fast food drive-throughs in Arcata. There must be something better down the road a mile or two. And why not stay on the Redwood Highway? I mean, Redwoods right?

My bad. Miles and miles stretch out before us driving through Humboldt County. We are starving (unlikely, with our recent caloric intake) and need to tinkle bad!

Every sad little town we do find brings to mind the banjo music from Deliverance! There is no place safe to stop. Totally scary! We will either get a disease or get kidnapped if we use the bathroom, and the best food we could find was a bag of Doritos in a liquor store.

Darcy has a secret!

Spinning Wheels

It’s now 4:30 and we have to stop, so Wheels Café and Pub [now permanently closed… shocking] in lovely Laytonville it is. (I’m hoping this is not run by “Chef Wheels Pierre of Roadkill Café!”)

We’ve been out of cell range for hours and have not posted anything on the socials all day. My mom has been freaking out, sending texts wondering if we’re still alive. In the current surreal landscape, we’re not completely sure.

We make this quick. Andy tries to use the bathroom, but it is located in the bar and some drunk guy is in there having a melt down. I guess we can hold it a little longer. We grab a burger, send a reassuring text to my mom, and hit the road quickly.


We wrap up our day sweltering at 95° in Ukiah. The Best Western Orchard Inn [now permanently closed… spotting a theme?] is $139, including breakfast. Civilization!! A safe potty!

We get to our room exhausted from our NorCal banjo ordeal. But now I have another problem.

Remember back a few days when I mentioned we were getting, um, a bit sluggish? Yeah, well here we are still newlyweds, and I am still perpetrating the “Girls Don’t Poop” myth! Easy to pull off in a three story three bathroom townhouse, not so easy six days into hotel living!!!

Andy has barely put down his suitcase, and I am talking him into running to the nearest grocery store for some in-room snacks for the evening. Maybe a quick warm bath and some privacy will help!


But tomorrow is a new day, and we are treating ourselves to a day of wine tasting in Sonoma. It’s going to be so stylish!

Oh yeah, tomorrow will go down in the annals!